!!...Let's face it ….. English is a stupid language

There is no egg in the eggplant, No ham in the hamburger

.and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple

..English muffins were not invented in England

We sometimes take English for granted, but

if we examine its paradoxes we find

..that Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square, and a

...guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig

...If writers write, how come fingers don't fing

If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the

...plural of phone booth be phone beeth

...If the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught

,If a vegetarian eats vegetables

!?...what the heck does a humanitarian eat

?..Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital

??..Park on driveways and Drive on parkways

How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day

?!...And as cold as hell on another

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a

language where a house can burn up

as It burns down, And in which

.you fill IN a form by filling it OUT

...And a bell is only heard once it GOES

English was invented by people, not

computers, and it reflects the creativity

...of the human race

(( Which of course isn't a race at all))

That is why

,When the stars are out they are visible

..but when the lights are out they are invisible

And why it is that when I wind up

my watch It starts, but

!!...when I wind up this poem It ends